Taylor loved Camp…I mean, she really, really loved camp.
I was nervous as all get out to send her away, to a remote spot in Maine. For 2 weeks. Without a cell phone. Without computer access. No communication with the outside world.
She was in charge of her own decisions, laundry, oral hygiene, cleanliness, appropriate attire, manners and daily general direction. Did I mention without cell and computer access? (AKA without my ever vigilant and vociferous reminders of what to do and every day love affirmations.)
She apparently blossomed during her stint at camp. She made friends with campers and counselors.
She tried new things, new activities, made friends that she would have never made before. (Including new friends from France.) She went white water rafting and sailing. She did crafts. She signed up for sports that I would have never previously believed she would be interested in.
She became a new, more experienced, more daring, more open version of her former self than the one I put on a plane in early June.
Even her Grandmother (Her Mimi, who is my own Mom) said after she returned, “Whatever you paid to put Taylor in that Camp, it was well worth it. She is a different and more amiable and happy girl.”
Taylor said to me (when I FINALLY talked to her after she left Camp), “I didn’t want to leave, Mom!”
I was never sent to sleepaway camp, so I am among those who “don’t get it.” But, I have spent a lot of time listening to what Tay has shared as well as listening to ‘This American Life – Thoughts on Camp.”
From the moment she left camp, Taylor has been begging me for a 5 week long stay next summer.
I let the thought germinate. Next summer she will be almost 16. She might have a High School boyfriend by then.
Suddenly, sending her to camp (that non-communication, won’t be able to affix my stink eye on her while she enjoys outdoor activities) seemed a whole lot more palatable.
The sticker price is not.
This summer I sent Tay for the early (relatively cheaper) session in the beginning of June. It was less expensive than the other sessions as most children (with wealthy parents) don’t get out of school until a couple weeks later.
Her camp sent me an e-mail announcing that if I signed her on NOW for next summer – I would get another $700 discount.
So, not knowing if I would get a bonus next year, or if I could save up the necessary funds, I put the decision in Taylor’s court.
(Note – same 2 week early session is $1300 as opposed to $1600 from this year. All 5 weeks she is requesting would be $4995)
My prerequisite is that Tay must get a job (note – she is only 14) for me to consider putting her in camp next summer for 5 weeks.
At first, she was all onboard with the idea. “Of course Mom, I’ll get a job and help!”
Then, this week, reality set in when I took her to Publix to apply for a job.
Publix has a convenient employment application lobby kiosk. Initially, Tay wanted to skip this week and start the next one because of sleepover plans. I quietly acquiesced.
But, I told her later in the car that I would take my cues from her. If she felt that getting together with a girlfriend took precedence over work, then I would see camp as a secondary priority and would conduct myself as such.
Before you think I am being too harsh, I will tell you that Donnie and I are considering delaying our epic trip down US1 so that Tay can realize her vision of going to camp one last time. (She will be too ‘old’ after next summer)
After seeing the enormous positive change in her, my wonderful and patient husband is completely onboard with having her go back to camp, and is one with sacrificing (delaying) our dream vacation one year.
Initially, Taylor was okay with me (us) sacrificing OUR dreams. However, once I schooled her on the ‘unfairness,’ she began to see that her decisions impact not only her, but everyone around her…which is an important lesson.
As she might work at a minimum-wage-earning job, I know it will not make a dent in the 5K needed for her 5 weeks at camp next year. However, I feel that she has to put in a little sacrifice and a little hard work…is that wrong?
The picture above is of Taylor at Camp…I loved it as it was candid.
Have you ever gone to camp? Am I being too harsh? Please share…
1 comment:
No, you're not being too harsh... You're such a good mom! You've made it clear that:
a) Her happiness and growth are important to you, so you're willing to send her back for the 5 weeks she dreams of.
b) You're willing to sacrifice to help her realize that dream.
c) She has to sacrifice, too. All of us have to pull our own weight, because dreams don't come cheap.
Yes, I went to camp every summer from the ages of 9-16. When I was younger, camp was just Girl Scout Camp for two weeks - I don't think it was very expensive - and in Junior High and High School I went to the National Music Camp at Interlochen. Luckily for me, I got scholarships for Interlochen, because it was pretty pricy, especially for the time. But my mom made it clear if I didn't practice the piano, I wouldn't get a scholarship - in fact, if I didn't practice, she said she'd sell the piano... talk about harsh! LOL - but these are the kind of lessons kids need to learn, and I know your lessons are all given with love.
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