Being a Teen

A friend of mine sent me this picture via Facebook this morning. It was taken before heading out to Junior Prom – circa 1986.

Ahhh, 1986. Reagan was President, George Sr was his Vice President. In January, the Challenger exploded moments after take off, killing all 7 on board including the woman who was supposed to be the first teacher in space (there is a local school, Christa McAuliffe Middle, named for her.) Top Gun was the top movie and television programming was rife with family oriented sitcoms like The Cosby Show and Family Ties. (Reality shows wouldn’t make an appearance in the US for at least another 8 years with the debut of the Real World in 1992.)

And as for me? I was an insecure and shy 16 year old 11th Grade High Schooler, about to go to my first Prom.

While I have recently unearthed several similar photographs from the same time frame, it still startled me to see my 16 year old face, staring into the camera, in a shot that I either haven’t seen in 24 years or possibly never had.

I look serious…or perhaps I am trying to look sultry, I can’t remember. I do recall that I was disappointed that I didn’t have a date of my own for Junior Prom. Instead, I had a blind date; a friend of my girlfriend Laura’s boyfriend. So perhaps my gaze is arranged strategically in a poker face as to not betray any nervousness.

I have little memory of the evening, except that my girlfriend had a wonderful time with her boyfriend – and that my date was just as nervous and uncomfortable as I was.

Poor guy. I wish I could remember his name (was it Paul?), and track him down (though that would surely creep him out) and give him a check for $100 to cover what I am sure was an expensive evening for a teenager when he would have been much happier staying home playing Dungeons and Dragons…or whatever non-uber-uncomfortable-blind-Prom-date thing he liked to do.

I re-posted the picture later today on my own wall on Facebook, as sort of a “ha, ha, look at me…look at the funny hairstyle (and GLOVES, for gods sakes!)” Many of the comments I received were about how much Taylor looks like me. Which of course, is complimentary, but also stunned me into thinking again…in the picture, I am only about a year and a half older than she is right now. (How in the hell did that happen?)

The realization of how close in age my daughter is to the ‘picture me’ gave me pause. Today, she is right there where I was. A teenager, one foot planted in being a little girl with one toe testing the waters of womanhood. Literally begging to throw on the cloak of adulthood, yet shedding it quickly enough when the pressures are too intense.

I look back at the picture of the teenage me, and see her a little differently than I did initially (Though I don’t think I look so different now, ahem.)

She has no idea what lies ahead. She has only hopes and dreams. And, a naïve blind belief that there is good in most people.

Given what I know is ahead in my own life after that photo was taken, (and what lies ahead for my own daughter), I want to give the ‘picture me’ a hug (which I am sure would be unwelcome if my own teenager is any example) and tell her that things really do turn out okay.



• You won’t drive to LA to be a movie star…but you’ll look like one in your twenties
• There will be no knight in shining armor…but when you are ready, the right man will come along that treasures you and treats you like a movie star you once believed you would be.
• You won’t be fabulously wealthy…but you will have enough wealth to be fabulously happy
• Your work will not be not what you imagined…but different, and better than you imagined
• You won’t ever be intimidated…because you’ll always know you are the smartest person at the table
• You will not live in a castle…but every day when you step through the threshold of your humble abode, it will feel like one.
• You will not have 6 children…you will have one, a child who embodies, and is, all the best attributes of 6 children

• Believe me, you will be happy…

So have you ever looked back? Seen a picture of your teenage self and wanted to guide them? Or a desire to pass on words of comforting encouragement to your children?