I have been away from my blog for a while. For the most part I have been very busy, having strategically scheduled a very activity-filled couple of weeks after my daughter’s departure for camp. Being busy did not eliminate the raw hole in my heart, but it certainly helped. The frenetic schedule kept me focused, task and results oriented, and gave me various reasons to get out of bed each morning, with a full agenda to accomplish.
Taylor left 2 Sundays ago, with two heavy bags (and my heavy heart) in her hands. The scene at 6 AM at Palm Beach International was not completely unlike the one the year before. The three of us sat together on a bench just outside of security and watched other campers and parents arrive. (Just as we had done the year previously.) We saw many familiar faces and some new. However, this time around both Taylor and I were imbued with a sense of confidence. We both knew the routine of separation. She was less nervous and more excited; I was less naïve and more prepared.
I hugged her very tightly to me, right before she was going through security and embarking on her 5 week summer adventure. Big fat tears rolled down my face as I felt my chest constrict in pain.
A few hours later Donnie and I met some friends in Fort Lauderdale for an outing on their boat. (As much as I was tempted to stay under the covers in bed, which is where I had retreated to after our early morning return from PBI.)
It was a lovely afternoon, balmy and sunny.
It was one of those days in beautiful South Florida that makes one exclaim (whilst standing on a sandbar and clutching a frosty adult beverage in one hand and catching a tossed football in the other), “We live in paradise!” We are blessed with a network of great friends and I was incredibly grateful for the chatter, the inclusion and the camaraderie.
48 hours later, I was Chicago-bound for a work conference. Actually, the conference was in a hotel that was right next to the O’Hare airport. So I was not actually in Chicago, the city.
The Data Reporting Workshop I attended may not sound sexy to a lot of people, but it really got my brainy / nerdy juices flowing. I got to spend quality time with people in my same line of work who came from some huge “name-drop-type” brand companies. We shared reporting techniques, best practices and of course the impact of Social Media and Social Response to our industry.
I did get in early enough the afternoon before the conference started to venture into the city via the train…an activity that I likely wouldn’t have done on my own. My co-worker and friend, JP, is an expansive person and a lover of life experiences. She easily convinced me that the day we arrived we should get into the city, see and do something important and have a slice of Chicago pizza. So we did. We went to the Sears Tower (now called Willis) where I tricked my brain into allowing my feet to step onto a glass platform 103 stories up. Later we went to an authentic Chicago Pizza joint. (Still too thick for my tastes, I prefer NYC style pizza.)
After coming back from Chicago, I was home only one night before leaving for a girl’s weekend in Key West.
As I have mentioned previously, Key West, for many reasons, holds my heart. I just feel at home down there. After numerous recent visits, I no longer feel as though I have to fit every one of the friends that I have down there, nor a bunch of activities, into a few day time frame – I know now, with certainty, that I am coming back. I just get to relax, touch base with familiar faces and places and revel in the peace that the Island brings me.
For this particular trip, I brought my aforementioned co-worker and bestie, JP and my sister, Michelle. Though Michelle and I are separated by 10 years (I am the first and she is the third of 5 sisters), we are extremely close. I felt very fortunate that she was able to take the time and accompany me down to my geographical heart on the Southernmost tip.
We “girls” sipped Mimosas during the day and good wine in the evenings. We guzzled good old H20 while riding our bikes for hours. We rid our bodies of any calories or toxins via the heat and exertion in sweat equity. We went on a somewhat touristy bike tour. I looked (as I always do) at available Real Estate.
We also got to spend a raucous (to us) Saturday evening with my good friend and writing coach, (who for the purposes of anonymity I will call “Tink”) having cocktails at the Porch and a delicious, healthy dinner at a new restaurant, Amigos.
All in all, it was a lovely, wonderful weekend and I was sad when it ended.
Upon my return to reality this week, I was able to dive back into my work, with only a few tear-inducing thoughts about my daughter disrupting my daily routine.
I have received one letter from Taylor and it sounds as though she is having the time of her life.
3 more weeks to go until we reunite. Before then, I am planning for Tink and her family to come up from Key West and visit us for the Fourth of July Weekend.
This weekend Donnie and I are going to Orlando to say Bon Voyage to my cousin and her family who are moving to San Diego.
After that, it will be time to start planning our trip to Maine to meet Taylor at camp and then spend a family vacation week on a lake in Maine. Our ‘Maine-iac’ friends and family will be joining us. We will celebrate a momentous birthday of one of Donnie’s sisters.
So, I am half way to the summit of “missing Taylor.” At any given moment, I wonder what she is doing and how she is doing.
That wondering is coupled with a strong sense of pride. She is stretching the legs of her independency, while I am finding out who I am besides being a Mom.
With those growing pains I am realizing that our future, while tethered together for just a few more years, is looking pretty bright.
I, she…both of us…just might make it through this.
Wish us luck.
