In Memoriam

Cliff’s passing was sudden and very sad. Below is a story that I had written a couple of years ago. I really like this memory of him and it is what I will read if I am asked to speak at his memorial.


Saturday, April 4, 2009


Late one night a couple of weeks previous to the above date, I was in our downstairs bathroom and heard some skittering and scratching behind the wall. I came out of the bathroom into our dining / kitchen area and saw a tail disappearing behind the oven vent that runs along the top of our kitchen cabinets.  I was completely freaked and told my husband, Donnie about it the next morning. Much to my irritation, he was a little dismissive. However, he too heard, but did not see, whatever it was a few nights later. Soon after his auditory confirmation of an uninvited guest, he went about setting up some “humane” rodent traps in the area where I told him I had seen the “tail.” I did not share any of this with my then 13 year old daughter, Taylor as I did not want to get her all freaked out as well.

That balmy April 4th Saturday evening we were hosting my good friend, Janna and her new boyfriend, Cliff over for tapas and cocktails. While the four of us were sitting on our patio chatting, Taylor was sitting on the computer in the living room. (Watching Jonas Brothers videos on You Tube, I am sure.) Suddenly, Taylor came outside and said, “Mom, there is something in the cabinet making noise.” I said something to the effect of:

“don’t worry about it…didn’t want to tell you, but we think we might have a mouse…Donnie has put some traps down…no big deal.”

But she insisted that I come in to hear what was going on, and so I did.

Inside, standing in my home at the edge of my kitchen it sounded as though a 250 pound lumberjack was thrashing around on top of the kitchen cabinets. (She was mistaken when she thought the noise was coming from IN the cabinets.) I came outside and told Donnie, “It’s bad, come inside.” My friend Janna has a ‘first responder’ type instinct, so she immediately leapt up and was followed closely by Cliff.

All 5 (Donnie, Taylor, Cliff, Janna and me) of us stood in the entry to the kitchen and were witness to the thrashing about and then the poked-up head up of some sort of rodent up there.

Upon seeing the thrashing rodent, Janna started screaming, which kicked off my own special brand of high pitched screaming. Taylor started screaming as well and stood on an ottman clutching Minnie, our Chihuahua, to her chest. Lucky, our Dalmatian started barking and jumping around. It was a melee.

I watched as Cliff picked up a chair and started to head towards the corner of the kitchen where the noise was coming from. I understood his intent immediately. He was going to stand on that chair, reach up and grab the intruder in the trap. With this knowledge and having no desire to have a part of mission-catch-a-rodent, I fled back outside to the patio with Taylor in tow. Janna was close behind us. My daughter loudly whispered to Janna, “Your boyfriend is crazy!”

A few minutes later, Cliff confidently strode out of the house and carried the vermin (which I insisted was a mouse, even though everyone else had seen it and had identified it as a RAT) to our community’s dumpster. My trying-to-be-helpful-and-now-semi-emasculated-husband was right behind him.

Ugh, how nice. Nothing like a rodent break-dancing above the cabinets in your kitchen to get a dinner party going. So much for me trying to be the consummate hostess. I wondered if Janna and Cliff would ever come back for dinner.

As they were leaving that night, Cliff leaned in and told me somewhat ominously, “Where there is one, there are usually more.” And of course, he was right.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

That is one of my funniest and strongest memories of Cliff and I think is one that kind of sums him up as I knew him. He was cool, calm and collected in times of crisis. He was generous in his actions. And he was sage and wise about many things. I witnessed his kindnesses towards my soul sister, Janna on many occasions. I knew him to be adverse to adversity, a lover of animals, a student of nutrition and cleansing, a fellow reader and lover of books. And all in all – just a nice man.

The post script to the mouse (aka rat) story is that Janna and Cliff did brave coming over to our home again. Several times. As a matter of fact, the four of us had many happy times together. The most recent was a weekend afternoon trip to the movies not too long ago. All of us were on bikes; Janna and Cliff on the Harley and Donnie and I on our little Vespa. We had a lovely enjoyable day filled with camaraderie and laughter. I remember with clarity how Cliff and Donnie were chatting away in the lobby of the movie theater found each other to be movie soul-mates.

Cliff, we miss you. Wherever you are - may you find the best books to read, the best gyms to work out in, the best movies to watch and the best friends to do these things with. Until we join you.

May peace and love be with you.

The Tenth Anniversary - Never Forget

Yes, I will never forget.


• That morning at my new (7 months then, now 10.5 years) job.

• MSNBC.com and CNN.com being down due to the huge unexpected traffic to their sites.

• The co-worker that has a sibling as a pilot and was awash in worry.

• The corporate e-mail allowing employees to leave at 11 AM.

• Picking up my sweet 5 (now 15) year old daughter from school early.

• Trying to shield her from my crying and shaking.

• Talking to my then friend and now husband who called from the Orlando airport where he was scheduled to fly from there to Boston.

• Spending the rest of the day watching news updates in horror.

I spent a moment in silence this morning honoring all who lost their lives on that beautiful September day 10 years ago.

And I thank and genuflect in gratitude to all of those who fight for my freedom. I spent this Sunday lazing around, going to the market and readying for the upcoming work week. I was able to do this freely thanks to those who are actively fighting to keep the evil and hate at bay.

Make sure you kiss your loved ones and tell them how much you love them. Every day. I know I will.