Saturday, December 25, 2010

What makes a man attractive? (An Ode to My Husband)













(The idea for this post germinated this morning after taking the campy Christmas photos of my husband, he ever the good sport)

When I was a teen and in my early twenties, we didn’t call the opposite sex ‘men’ – they were ‘guys.’ Furthermore, my friends and I didn’t call them handsome or sexy, they were ‘cute’ or ‘hot.’

The term ‘cute’ was usually reserved for pretty boys. They were the universally attractive ones with angular faces and aquiline noses, sometimes with long surfer locks and sometimes clean shaven with neat, short Ralph-Lauren-catalogue type haircuts.

The term ‘hot’ was a little more ambiguous and up to personal feminine interpretation and taste. Hot guys (for me at least) were the bad boys, with a hint of danger in their swagger and a mischievous sparkle in their eyes. They also seemed to have that elusive brand of magnetic charisma that could draw you in.

As most women do over time, I learned the lesson. A guy who’s first credentials were cute or hot were great to look at and sometimes fun to be with…but for the most part lacked the substance needed to go the distance.

Though I never altered my number one favorite physical feature (beautiful eyes), I have certainly expanded my palate when it comes to what is attractive. After becoming single again on the eve of my thirties, I came to value the ability to hold a conversation, which goes hand in hand with intellect. I noticed humor and wit. I looked for close familial relationships and long friendships.

When I began to date my now husband, I realized I had hit the jackpot. He had been literally under my nose as a close friend before we had ever decided to become a couple. I had always thought of him as cute and hot (when we first became friends) and now think of him as handsome and sexy.

I can add confidence to the long list of his positive attributes.

Last Christmas, we had posted a picture of him lovely cradling our Chihuahua, Minnie under the Christmas tree on Facebook. His pose was accidentally somewhat reminiscence of Burt Reynolds in a Playgirl layout (but clothed). He weathered quite a bit of good-natured ribbing from his pals up North.

















This year, I was dying to anniversary the picture, and had him take up this pose. Of course, this photo on Facebook had the desired effect. Lots of comments, LOLs, OMGs and one EWW (from my 15 year old daughter.) All in good fun.

















And my husband, my lovely husband, had enough confidence to do this in the name of laughter.

Since coming to Florida to live with Taylor and I, my husband has embraced not only me and my daughter (who he treats as his own), but also my family and friends. He has extended his good nature and love to my daughter’s extended family. He has cultivated a network of buddies that he plays sports with. He has become the pet whisperer in our household, cleaning up messes and giving the newly-diagnosed diabetic cat his twice daily shots. He is loyal…completely. To his family, to us, to his job.

He is not a saint, just to be clear. He can drive me nuts at times. But that is perfect, because neither am I.

I look again at the cheesy photo I took this morning and marvel at the image of the confident and loving man that is my husband.

And I think how not only how handsome and sexy he is, but also how cute and hot.


Today, on the anniversary of Christ's birth, I am grateful for so many things...my daughter, my family, my health, my profession...and also for my husband.

Merry Christmas.

Friday, December 3, 2010

The elephant in the room (would be me)

I have fattened up. Much like the turkeys from last month. And, I don’t like it one bit. Unfortunately, when I am happy and settled in a relationship or marriage, I tend to look a bit plumper. WTF is that?

Every time that I have been single, lonely and yearning, I tend look my best. I have no appetite and I become wispy-waisted. Or, if there is a flirtation in my life (hi angst- ridden cute boy, talkin’ to you here.)

I do try. Lately I have eaten fruit for breakfast, whole wheat bread with low fat peanut butter and low sugar grape jelly for lunch. Dinner is a crap shoot as I may have a business dinner or not. I am also mindful of the fact that my slender father had a heart attack and a quintuple bypass. My health is hereditary.

I hate the extra pounds. I think longingly of the days when I fit into a size four. (I am now a size twelve). I try really hard not pass my body issues onto my daughter, who is already proclaiming a hatred of her thighs.

Next week I start boot camp (I do LOVE working out – with a friend) I so want to reclaim my body. Not only just to its former self but also as a proclamation.

I FUCKING ROCK.

See you on the treadmill.