The Anniversary of a Family

Like many wives, my feelings towards my husband are not always the most charitable. The dirty shirts thrown carelessly across the back of a chair, the cereal bowls with coagulated remnants stuck to them left to rot in the sink, and the forgotten chores could all make a saint swear. And trust me, I am no saint.

And don’t even get me started on the communication challenges that seem to be a universal complaint among wives. Blank stares when asked a question, monosyllabic grunts that are supposed to be proxies to an intelligent response and the selective hearing.

It was our third wedding anniversary yesterday.

With all of our current activities and near future plans, our lives have felt like a Buick trying to keep pace on the autobahn. Thus, we had decided awhile ago to keep this anniversary low key…and had casually and even dispassionately tossed out a couple of ideas about maybe somewhere to have dinner. Indeed, only a day before, with my mind trying to reprioritize which “have to” came first, did I realize that it was the day before my third anniversary – and my husband was not even home. He had left on Sunday to fly to Philadelphia for business and I, at the time, had only bitched at him about missing out on personal family time on the weekend…and didn’t even think to admonish him that he was going to miss our anniversary. He actually did make it home in time to take me to lunch and pick up my (our) daughter after school.

But yesterday, on the 3rd anniversary of the day we had pledged ourselves to each other, with one simple act, my husband reminded me about why I love him. And how much I do, which is even more deeply than the day that I married him or during those heady first weeks of falling in love with him.

It was not because of a surprise gift of jewelry or some other grandiose token of love. All of the things that we have going on in our lives require significant financial investment, so we had agreed that gifts would not be exchanged, even ones that might be “shared” like a weekend to Key West or Las Vegas. While doable, they were probably not wise decisions at this juncture.

It was not because he came home in time to take me to lunch. Lunch was nice, and I got to take him to the restaurant that I frequent during my lunch hour due to their outstanding Chicken Tortilla Soup that I have raved to him about. I found reason to get pissy during lunch, as he took a work call while we were seated together in a booth and were trying to reconnect after his absence. When a prolonged sigh did not do the trick in getting him to hang up the phone, I dropped my soup spoon onto a plate and it clattered loudly enough that other patrons looked at us.

It was not because of where he took Taylor and me to dinner. We went to Bru’s Room, which for any reader not from the South Florida area, is a popular restaurant, Sports Bar and watering hole. I gamely entered another submission into the Bad Mother of the Year Award Annual Competition (BMoTY) and sat with my 14 year old daughter in the bar portion of the restaurant. (She certainly didn’t mind – Burgers and Nachos are amongst her favorite dishes). However, my husband’s heart WAS in the right place – they had a Buzz Trivia game going on last night which is something we have enjoyed doing as a family in the past. (If you have ever played the Buzz Trivia game, BEWARE if you notice that "DTV" has logged onto the scoreboard.)

It was not what he wrote in his card to me. It was Flintstone festooned, and while he may bear a passing resemblance to Fred, I do not have red hair nor am I as wispy waisted as Wilma. But in fact, the kind, more lengthy proclamation of his love on the blank left hand side of the card had been encouraged by my daughter. She helpfully coached him that simply writing “yabba dabba do!” above his signature was not ample enough. (I have taught her well.)

It was because of his card to Taylor – which was a surprise to both me and her. She was too embarrassed by the outward display of affection from her Step-Father to read it in front of us. She ducked into another room and reappeared a few minutes later and mumbled, “touching.” I thought she was being sarcastic which would be very normal vernacular for her current teenage self. I held out my hand, and asked to see it. “Why?” she asked, “You’re just gonna cry.” She handed it to me and looked over my shoulder to read it with me. The card itself was benign, but what he had written in it, to her, was not:

“April 21, 2010

If you really think about it, this day is as much of an anniversary for you and me as it is for your Mother and myself.
Today marks the day you became my daughter. And while you might think this day does not include you, I say it is not complete without you.
These past 3 years have enriched my life and you are a significant part of that.
Happy Anniversary Daughter

Love Always.”

She was right. I cried.

All Roads Lead to Home - The Best Places

Our family has a VERY full dance card this summer. We are going on a cruise, part of which is the wedding of a good friend of mine that I am blessed to be the Matron of Honor for. Our cruise ports in Key West and Cozumel, Mexico. 1 day after we return home, I am sending Taylor to sleep away camp for 2 weeks. For the duration of which we cannot be in contact. (Which she likely feels is a blessing.) After Tay spends several more days in Maine after camp ends, she will then fly down to NYC to stay with close friends of ours, where we will meet her a few days later in mid July for a long weekend as a family.

After several weeks of work (for us adults) and babysitting (for Tay) at home, we will then all go to Maine for a State Fair in August.

September ushers in birthday season, and I will also host my Sister’s Bridal Shower and Bachelorette weekend, which will take place in Key West.

So many moving parts….so many places to be. I look forward to all of the events that I get to be a part of….but all of this planning got me thinking…where are my favorite places (that I have been) on Earth?

(Note to the reader: I have not traveled extensively outside of the US, but have been to most States within the continental US)

Here are my top ten (so far,):

 Monterey, CA: This little seaside town was made famous by John Steinbeck’s Cannery Row. Now very touristy, it has retained some of its quaintness and is a less expensive alternative to its sister city to the South. I also had to proclaim this one a shout out as it was the location of my most important conception.

 San Francisco, CA: What’s not to love? The diversity, the cultures, the architecture are almost all unique to this beautiful city on the bay. Stroll through Chinatown, take a ferry to Alcatraz, amble through Pier 39. I was so happy and proud to take my personal living, breathing souvenir of ’95 back to San Fran and Monterey in the Summer of 2004.

 Cocoa Beach, FL: A gorgeous, neglected piece of Florida’s Northeast coast, it was home to me for a short time in my early 20’s. As a part of the Space Coast, it has struggled to hold its own. I was here during the first shuttle take off after the Challenger, which in this town, at the time, was a momentous occasion.

 Washington DC: Believe it or not, all of the greatest pieces of history are available to be seen at no cost. The first time I passed through here, I remember seeing the Constitution, the original document, under a thick piece of glass… and thinking, “Oh My God, I am reading the REAL Constitution!” I have since brought my daughter back to this place, once, with my Sister Lara when they also got to experience the Holocaust Museum among many other historical places and again when I sent her with her 5th Grade class.

 Chicago, IL: I visited this town for the first time as an accident. I was stuck (as I am sure many have been) on a layover in O’Hare. I spent the night many miles away from the airport in an uptown Hilton. I tried to get a slice of pizza the next day in a highly recommended Pizza place. After confirming that I was “lunch for one,” the host asked me if I wanted to have pizza. I looked around me and affirmed, “Yes, pizza for one.” He then advised that the restaurant had run out of cheese. (WTF?) One nursed beer and one HEAVY piece of Chicago pizza 2 hours later, I was one my way to the airport. I was impressed by the city, and its history…but not by it’s pizza. Too thick.

 New York City, NY: I went to this city for the first time to try to save my marriage; I was scared of everything and very young. The second time, I came when my Father was fighting for his life in Upstate NY, and he challenged me to take my Mom and my Sisters to the city, while he was having a quintuple bypass, which I did. The third time was just for me (and Tay) I was lucky enough that good friends of ours lived on the Upper East Side. My friend Deb, Taylor and I got to experience the city like locals. I am looking forward to doing it again soon,

 Bentonville, AZ: Yes, the birthplace of Wal-Mart. I found this little funky conundrum of a small town burg to be right up my alley. A mix of past and present, it contains small town living and big business all in one little cow patch. Plus, the best burger I have EVER had was in a little burger place right next door to the Wal-Mart Museum.

 Milo, ME: I was truly a fish out of water in Maine. I had zero experience with the quiet country living, but I found my husband’s hometown to be beautiful beyond words. What an amazing family he has…and I get to be part of it! What amazing New England homes. How I wanted to sneak across the street and see how THEIR home looked! (Those of you who know me know which home I am talkin’ about!) Milo has become a part of my heritage as well, and I am thankful and anticipatory. I am now also appeciative that this area will be part of Taylor’s upbringing.

 Boca Raton / Delray Beach, FL: I am a sucker for being at home. I live in paradise…and I for that I am lucky. Believe me, I never forget how beautiful my hometown is or how wonderful my life is.


 Key West, FL: This town holds my heart. I have visited endless times, I have shelves of books about it, I now know endless tales about its history and some of its more famous (and infamous) inhabitants. I now have friends and acquaintances there. I can point out and name the architecture when driving past it…Eyebrow, Bahamian, Queen Anne…all beautiful to me. There is such a sense of acceptance and love in this little island town that boasts such a great history.

Like some sort of groupie, I keep striving for even bigger stars in my travels. But, I have a feeling the all of the roads will lead me right back home.

Where are your favorite places?